The Crossed One

The outsider,
Never belonging anywhere, outcast and ignored. Pretending evertyhing will be allright. With smiles brighter than the sun. Betray the true feeling held inside.
"It will be allright.
Tomorrow will be a better day"
Will that day ever come?
Seeing life without any substance, where have the forgotten dandelion buds gone? Leaving their comfort and travelling everywhere. How many times have people crave to be like them? Soaring away towards the unknown.
"Songs of happiness, I hear them everywhere..but I can't find them."
Where should the little buds land? Anywhere they go, they will be the outsider. One blooming dandelion in the midst of others, how odd would that be.

Discriminate..didnt you ever notice somewhere inside the word, lies the word crime?

Find The Way

Everybody has their own path. Down the road we meet different people, interact. We meet and we say goodbye. That is the basic essence of human communication.
Life is fleeting. It can be estinguished simply by simple means. So how do we put a price to our life? Do I worth more than somebody else? Or, does somebody else worth more than I do?
Why am I always lost in my own world? Where shall i find the place for me to sate my anger gently? Where do I belong in this chaotic world?
"Find your own path","Good luck","You can do it"...these are probably the most careless words that human will ever utter. Without knowing the weight of those words, they granted us their blessing. Or should I say, they pass down their burden. Those are probably the words I hate the most in my life.
Like a flower trying to survive in the desert, as common sense would have told you, it is impossible. Nobody will know of its existence in the sand, nobody would know of the hardship it went through.
People, simple creature, but cruel in nature.

Yabaii!

WOw...how long has it been since i last updated my blog?
Should this be another revival? Nah, anyway...miss you guys so much
So sad I couldn't make it back for the reunion...ahh, I was pretty much busy.
I just found out that my LAN (moral) assignment has elephant amount of assingments. 5 assignments and 13 class assignments. Die Die..date due? This Friday.
I think i need to be a superwoman this semester

Anyway for those who knows... I went for the INTIBall last friday, 1st July 2005 at Marriot Putrajaya. Hehehe, for those who wants to see pictures, well, you gotta wait till i go back penang, cause i dont wanna like, u know upload it here for the whole world to see...private ya know..
What is with my stupid slang?
-_-''
I am going cuckoo
Help meeeeeeee

Should I?

Once again, the social board are asking me to be one of the model for the orientation night.
Should I?
I am still thinking..
I rejected their offer last year..that makes it kinda "hao lian" to reject them again
I wonder what should I do?
Aih..
The catwalk practice sessions are 7 days per week..8 pm to around 10pm
Personally I feel that its a big waste of time.
80% of me, dont wanna join..
Still thinking..what should i do....
Aih...
And the problem is the orientation night will be around my test 1..
Maybe I should not join...

Sora no Kisetsu

current song: Hitori- Mika Nakashima
mood: sad, sickly

Happy Mother's Day...Mummy, if you are reading this, I love you very much. When I open my bag everytime I come back college, I always find some food or extra blanket or something sweet in my bag. You must have woken up in the middle of the night to sneak it in. This time, you sneaked in a rambutan from the tree in our small garden.
It makes me feel so at home. Not to forget the home washed laundry, it smells nice. Even after one week, mummy.
I miss home.

Time move on so fast. Almost one week has passed since I came back here. It is almost depressing to open my door and see the mess that I have left behind last semester. But now, I have cleaned it..all by myself. Being the good girl I am.

I seem to have lots of interesting lecturers this semester. And two of them are lecturers that have taught me before during my past semester.
I am taking 5 subjects this semester, and the subjects are no joke. Electrical Machines and Control, Microprocessors, Modern Control System, Thermofluids, and lastly waste-of-my-time Moral Education.
Personally I felt that the LAN is wasting resources and time in all those pathetic LAN subjects. I mean, why can't I skip Moral when i got A2 for that in SPM?
In the first place, why do we need to take Moral Education?
I will never be able to understand the mind of the people. Then there was another paper that I cleared which was Malaysian History. I dont understand why they made it compulsary for everybody to take it. If they only make it compulsary for students who scored less that a credit then it would make sense. But not to everybody! I dont appreciate studying my ass of to get and A1 during spm only to come here and restudy it when i know its useless and to some extend untrue.
Ahh, I guess this is just some useless rambling anyway.

By the way, I hope that I dont turn out to have some indian slang by the end of this semester, since 4 out of 5 of my lecturers are indian.

Other than that, everything is fine with me. Still fighting, finding my own way to live. Keeping strong to my own principles even if there are bad influence with me everyday. "Dont worry" to those who commented on my previous entry. I wont be one of them. Thanks for your concerns. It means a lot to me.

Along with the ever-changing sky, people changes as well. There are people around me who have changed to become worse than ever. Jealousy..I guess. But I know I will always find my way back to the hearts of those who loved me dearly, especially one who seems to love me more than himself. I love you darling.

And to those who understand..
kisetsu no naka
nokosareta...boku dake

Back to Doom

Hell is back.
It's time to go back to Doom. Thus, begin the endless routine of hand-washing all my clothes, find my own food, no cars, no shopping, no daddy around me, and no more happy days...
Happy days....
How did 2 weeks passed by so fast?
Pei, I practically didnt get to see you at all!
Aaah, at 1710 i will board the flight that will bring me back to dullsvile.
Help...let me stay at home!
Why can't mechatronics be available in Penang....:(
*I can feel Darren's heart breaking while i say this*
BUT...i want my car, my shopping, my malls!!
When I go back INTI..there is nothing there!
I seriously got used to my wake up late afternoon, go out with friends and eat a lot routine.
Being pampered at home, now I have to go back to dullsvile!
no.....no...n o..... n o.....
*sit at the corner and sulk*
me want daddy...

Daremo Shiranai

The word "Happy". What does it really mean?
It's hard as it is to compete in school exams, but to compete in life? That is just so much harder to cope. Just because someone looks happy, does that mean they are happy?. If only they know, as with beauty, happiness is not just skin deep. It takes a lot to see the truth behind the mask everybody is wearing.
In this world, there are a lot of unique individuals. Talented, lazy, beautiful, ugly,loners, bitches, fakers..and so on.
Why does it seems that bitches have more fun than a goodie-two-shoes?
They flirt, they strip, they disgrace the whole human race, yet at the end of the day, those bitches are the people who have more fun than good people.
People nowadays are just so self-centred,they want something out of what they give to you, even at the expense of others.
The world is unfair. It is made to be unfair. But why are the shitheads the only people who get happiness out of this unfair world,through their self-centred actions?
Where do we fit in nowadays?
It has become a sin to be good.
Nobody knows the sadness that can be felt by a human body. If only somebody were to be kind enough to look further,deeper than any others..Maybe they can be the saviour that cures the crushing loneliness that haunts the hearts of others.